


Take all your time

by erikonic



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Back to past days, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, KONIC TV, M/M, My First Fanfic, Unrequited Love, bobbin, doubleb - Freeform, junbob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-11-27 12:50:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18194813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erikonic/pseuds/erikonic
Summary: Hanbin knew he had one-sided love for Bobby, but at the end of the day he thought he can survive if he had his hyung with him...  So it was until that day on Bobby chose to say that he hate being touched for Hanbin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -First iKON fic  
> -English isn't my first language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I edited the first chapter thanks to Lu @Lu0245 (twitter user) who correct all my mistakes. I think you can enjoyer now^^  
> She also writes iKON fics, in Spanish, you can search for them in her twitter account ♥
> 
> Sorry for all the mistakes that I had that made you didn't understand, I hope I can improve with every story I write and translate and thanks so much for have read even if my English is poor ^^

Hanbin was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling. After the transmission of the first KONIC TV episode was over, he ran to get into the vehicle which would take them to their dorm, and didn’t saying anything to anyone. _Do you hate it?_ He thought. _Why did hyung have to talk like that? I thought that whenever he rejected me, he was just joking. But today he was not joking. Although he was laughing, he was not joking._

He put one of his arms over his face, covering his eyes. He didn’t remember feeling this hurt since they lost in W.I.N. He wasn’t able to contain himself, so tears began to fall down on the sides of his face, ending up in his ears. He moved on the bed to lie on his side, with his legs close to his chest and his arms around them. There was something stuck in his chest, something that he knew it wouldn’t let him breath normally unless he cried out all the pain he felt inside his heart. But Hanbin didn’t do so. He kept crying in silence until he fell asleep.

Junhoe, who was on the other side of the door, didn’t know what to do. For a moment, he thought he could go inside the room and play a prank on Hanbin. Annoying his hyung is one of his favourite pastimes, but after hearing him quietly moaning in pain, he decided to stay there and wait. He perfectly knew why Hanbin was like that; during the transmission of the episode, he tried to keep smiling, but it was highly obvious that Hanbin ducked his head when Bobby mentioned he didn’t want Hanbin to flirt with him; for a moment, he thought that Hanbin would break into tears, but he actually recovered instantly and even joked about what Bobby said. However, you could tell by the look on Hanbin’s eyes that he wasn’t happy at all.

 

    Hanbin decided to keep himself busy, out of the other members’ sight. He was feeling downhearted and hurt. His hyung needn’t have to humiliate him like that. If it bothered him so much, why didn’t he just tell him that off cameras and in private? _Perhaps it was because I would have ignored him as always, thinking he was just kidding, when he seriously really hated it so much that he couldn’t have cared less about humiliating me like that in front of the members, the managers and our fans._

 

He lowered his head, expecting to rest it over the desk, but ended up hitting it with the keyboard instead. After checking the computer screen, he realized that he’s just deleted a song he’s been working on and haven’t even made a copy of it. Frustrated, he threw his cap on the desk and got up to walk in circles around the studio. Then, he ended up sitting on the couch with his knees bent and his arms around them, hugging himself. _If only I had stopped when I could, if only I had kept my distance before it was too late…_ Tears started showing at the corner of his eyes, but this time he didn’t let himself cry, _I'm not that weak... but this hurts so much._

It was almost two in the morning when he arrived at the dormitories, but he had no intentions of going to his room. If he could choose, he would have stayed in the studio until dawn, but Yunhyuk hyung wouldn’t have let him do that, of course. He wasn’t feeling like doing anything at all, so he lied on the floor of the living room. He didn’t even have the energy to get on the sofa. His mind was a total chaos, and the only thing he could think about was that Jiwon had hurt him without knowing aware of it. He had already gone through sadness and anger, now he was feeling empty. He could remember in detail every single moment they had spent together, and only then he could realize that all those memories meant different things for both of them.

 _Maybe I should have understood that it was only a joke when he said that I was his type_ , he thought for the umpteenth time. But it wasn’t his fault: when someone is in love, their hearts trick their minds.

 

    “Hanbin, hey, wake up, why are you here? HANBIN!”

Junhoe shook his leader's shoulder until he managed to wake him up, although now he regretted doing so, but he couldn’t leave him lying on the floor. How long has he been there like that? His arm was cold.

“It's hyung, megaphone, what do you want?” Hanbin grunted through his teeth, looking over the window and noticing that it was still dark.

Junhoe rolled his eyes and patted him on the arm.

“You can’t sleep here, let’s go to the bedroom.”

Hanbin closed his eyes and settled back to continue sleeping, or at least he tried until Junhoe started to shake him again.

“Leave me alone!”

“Nope, I won’t leave you here. You’ll get sick, and the leader can’t get sick.”

“I hate you, leave me.”

“No, you love me, there is no better dongsaeng than me and you know it.”

Hanbin kept trying to settle down on the floor, trying to lie down in the same position he was before the annoying and noisy member had interrupted him from that magnificent dream of nothing at all. Only peace in total unconsciousness: not thinking about anything, or expecting or believing in anything. Not even suffering for nothing. Again, he was interrupted, but this time by Junhoe’s arms, which were placed around his back and in the bend of his legs. Junhoe was carrying him like a princess.

“Junhoe, what the hell do you think you're doing!”

“You should lower your voice, Hanbin... hyung, you'll wake up the rest.”

“And you should back off! I know how to walk!”

“But you don’t know how to obey.” Junhoe let out a sigh, stopped in the middle of the corridor; it didn’t look like Hanbin didn’t seem to be too heavy for Junhoe. “Hyung, I know why you're like this, but it's not my fault, can you stop avoiding me? Can you not be upset with me? I didn’t do anything and... It's not what you think.”

Hanbin immediately understood what Junhoe was referring to, unable to avoid it, he felt smaller, more annoyed with his dongsaeng, with himself, with Jiwon, with everything. But he also felt more vulnerable and weaker. That might be the reason he didn’t realize that he approached closer to Junhoe’s chest, embracing him by the neck, looking for some comfort on his friend.

“I don’t want to sleep there” _I don’t want to if he’s there too._

His voice was barely a whisper, but Junhoe was so close to him that he understood. How strange it was to see their leader being that weak. He hadn’t seen him so in pain like that, not even when they were defeated years ago. He’d never seen him so hopeless.  Junhoe walked back to the living room, sitting on the couch with Hanbin on his lap. He hugged him tightly and held him until the older man fell asleep. His eyes felt heavy and by the time he noticed, he was already lying on the sofa with Hanbin lying on his chest. He stroked his face with one hand, wishing he could take away the pain; he too had already suffered... He was still suffering, like Hanbin, for someone who didn’t love him back.

 

“Stop taking pictures,” Jinhwan said, trying not to sound very annoyed.

 “Hyung, this is a unique occasion. I must immortalize this moment for posterity. Future generations should know about this.”

Although Jinhwan closed his eyes and counted to ten, he ended up slapping Yunhyeong.

“Auch, hyung!”

“What ya doing?” Jiwon asked while yawning. He has just got up.

He stopped the moment he saw Hanbin and Junhoe holding each other or, one could say, intertwined like two pythons on the couch. He swallowed hard. Since when were these two so affective with each other to lie down together that way? They were always fighting. Had they spent all night there? No, it couldn’t be, he remembered Junhoe going to sleep in his room.

“Hyung?” Donghyuk's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

Before anyone could say anything, they heard a sound coming from the two who were tightly hugged in front of them.

“Hyung, this can’t be recorded.” Chanwoo immediately put his hand in Yunhyeong's camera, but the eldest quickly evaded him.

 “I have videos of all of you full naked. Do you think I wouldn’t record this?” He laughed.

Jiwon swallowed again, notorious. That smile that didn’t show happiness appeared on his face, and that one look, the one everybody in the group was frightened of, took over his eyes.

Hanbin had complained, still asleep, and had turned around, leaning his back and ass against Junhoe, and a morning erection was in sight of his friends. Junhoe, who was also asleep, felt that Hanbin was moving, so he clung closer to him and embraced him even tighter, in order to remain close to his heat. However, he began to hear voices and ended up waking up. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he found was one unwelcoming gaze by an upset Jiwon. Then, he saw the others, and, in the end, he realized he was still hugging Hanbin.

To everybody’s surprise, who expected to hear him yelling at Hanbin and throwing him away from him, Junhoe just complained in a low growl, and approached to Hanbin’s neck, muttering things too low to be heard. Seconds later, when it seemed he was feeling annoyed by the others’ presence, he got closer to the older’s ear and whispered his name, telling him that they had to get up and move to the room if they wanted to continue sleeping. Hanbin muttered under his breath that he didn’t want to, so Junhoe ended up getting up and muttering a good morning to the others, immediately carrying Hanbin in his arms. Although he noticed the erection of his leader, he gave little importance and kept on going with what he was doing..

“What? What the fuck are you doing? He’s gonna cut your head off, Junhoe” Jinhwan growled in surprise.

Most surprised were all when Hanbin, instead of rejecting Junhoe with a scolding as expected, actually sank himself into the other’s arms, not fighting against him.

“What... Junhoe really...? This just...? Do you think they...? Naah” Donghyuk replied to himself, immediately turned to see Jiwon with concern.

Jiwon turned around and went to the kitchen, where he poured himself a large glass of cold water. He couldn’t help but feel his jaw tightened. What was all that show?

 

    Although he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, Hanbin was happy that Jiwon wasn’t in this episode. He had always hated when he had to be away from his hyung, now he thanked all Gods for having a different schedule. The members had taken it upon themselves to mock him and Junhoe enough to know that Jiwon would be angry with him for sleeping and cuddling with his crush and, even worse, for having an erection —which hadn’t been caused by his dongsaeng. Yes, even though he hated it, now he could admit that Jiwon didn’t want him, he could also admit —at last— that Jiwon have been developing interest in Junhoe for a long time.

Sometimes Hanbin couldn’t help but stare at Junhoe with anger as if he could stick daggers on him… But he was trying to quit that habit. It wasn’t Junhoe’s fault.

Perhaps if Hanbin had kept his distance from Jiwon, it would be him the one that had caught his attention instead. Maybe becoming a bit awkward with him would have had a good effect on his hyung, the same way that had worked on Jiwon and his feelings towards Junhoe. _Oh, of course you’ve made him feel a bit of something, and it was the worst kind of awkwardness, Kim Hanbin. Don’t you remember? He said he hated being touched by you. He said you made him feel humiliated._ Hanbin swallowed after that thought made him feel devastated.

“Hanbin?” Yunhyuk called him worried to see how pale he looked like.

“You okay?” Junhoe asked after noticing it too.

Yunhyeong, Chanwoo and Donghyuk, who had been playing until then, came together to see what happened to their leader.

“You feel sick? We can go back to the dorm, the guys can do the live themselves.” Suggested Yunhyuk. For days, he’s been seeing Hanbin upset. He knew something was wrong, but it seemed like Hanbin didn’t want to talk about whatever that made him feel down. Obviously, he didn’t want to put pressure on him because he thought he might know what it was all about and why he was acting that way.

“No, hyung. I’m fine, thanks…”

 

       That night, Hanbin didn’t go home until dawn so that he could avoid talking with Jiwon and the other members. He also made sure to be out of sight of their managers. He left the studio around five a.m. He managed to write four song lyrics and produced two demos. As it was still very early, he decided to walk a little along the sidewalk of Han River.  He reproached himself for thinking again and again about the same thoughts while looking for something to keep his mind distracted. Writing songs, producing music, those things had always made him feel great —and it still has the same effect on him— but he was done writing songs full of those sad feelings that made his heart break even more. In addition, he was still depressed by how New Kids “failed” on the charts. He couldn’t believe they had failed. iKONICS supported them, but the media took care of ruining their image.  He couldn’t understand why they hated them so much.

On top of that, many didn’t stop talking about Jiwon's next Solo and how Hanbin would never going to be as well-known as him. That led him to think about MOBB and how much he would have given for being the one who had been in a subunit with Jiwon and how jealous he had felt to see his beloved hyung with Mino, becoming less and less close with him. He could remember all those photos in which his two hyungs were so close that they made him doubts several times what kind of relationship they had. “Are they just friends?” he asked himself many times that question, and each time he would end up with the same stomach ache he was feeling  at that moment.

 

“Hey, Hanbinah, are you just arriving from the studio?”

Hanbin froze as soon as he heard the husky voice of the person he would want to see the least. _Act natural._

“Mhm.”

He sat in the doorway looking toward the door, trying to avoid his hyung's gaze as he took off his shoes. He swallowed as he felt he was standing behind him.

“Hey, you shouldn’t overwork” Jiwon said with a soft voice. Hanbin hated him for making his heart hurt.

“You are like that too, hyung. You can’t tell me to act differently.”

After he got up and turned around, he was suddenly face to face with the person he loved the most, but also the one who made him suffer like no other. His heart stopped for a second and then started beating again incredibly fast. He could hear all that thundering in his ears. Jiwon looked so good, even with those sleepy eyes and messy hair. The problem was that Jiwon always looked good no matter what.

Not knowing what to do, Hanbin looked away and tried to walk away from his hyung, but the older immediately followed him.

“I feel like we haven’t seen each other in years” Jiwon told him, Hanbin muttered ‘Mmh’ again. “Hey, what’s up? These weeks I noticed you’ve been acting… weird.”

Hanbin shook his head and tried to go to the bathroom, but Jiwon grabbed him by the elbow not letting him go.

“Sit down, let's talk.”

“Hyung, there's nothing...”

“Let’s.Talk.”

Hanbin swallowed and went straight to the couch, feeling his stomach spin. Jiwon sat next to him way too close, and Hanbin couldn’t help but move to the side. Jiwon sat close again, this time keeping enough distance as not to make their knees touch.

“I need to know what’s going on, Hanbin.  I’m not the only one who is worried or the only one who has noticed how you spend less time with us and more time locked in your studio.”

Hanbin began to feel angry. It seemed like everyone was suddenly so worried about him, keeping an eye on whatever he was doing and wherever he was going. Wasn’t it evident for them that everything he was doing was for the group? Yes, he was avoiding Jiwon, but being in the studio producing music, writing songs, everything was for all of them. This way, they could have a comeback as soon as possible, and perhaps it may prevent more fans from leaving them alone.

“What's wrong with it?” He muttered under his breath.

“What's wrong with it?” Echoed Jiwon. “Everything, Hanbin, everything. You look thinner, paler, miserable. How do ya think that makes us feel?”

Hanbin took a deep breath, but couldn’t contain himself.

“If I don’t spend hours in the studio busy as fuck, who is going to make our songs then? You, hyung? I don’t think so. I see how busy you are making songs for Mino and you, instead of for us.”

Hanbin swallowed hard as he watched the rage taking Jiwon’s eyes, but he hold his gaze. The older stood up in a second and looked down at Hanbin, with his jaw clenching.

“That's what it’s all about? Are you angry with me for that? What the hell, Kim Hanbin!? Out of all people, I never thought you would reproach me for something like that. I thought that we were true friends, and that you would be happy for me, yet here you are acting all jealous. If I...”

 Hanbin laughed loudly, making Jiwon tighten his jaw.

“No, hyung, you got it wrong. I would never be jealous of you, or of your abilities as a musician...”

“So what?” Jiwon yelled in frustration. “I don’t understand you, what the hell is wrong? You can’t say you are not jealous when you are acting like you are.”

“No, I’m not! I’m just replaying to what you are accusing me of.”

Jiwon looked like his frustration was increasing. Hanbin had the feeling that this was going to get violent from one moment to the next.

“I'm not accusing you of anything!” Jiwon grabbed his arms, showing with his strong grip how frustrated he felt. “Don’t you understand that I’m worried about you?”

This time, Hanbin couldn’t hold his gaze.

“You are the one who doesn’t understand, hyung. Leave me alone.”

Jiwon let the air he was holding, feeling more frustrated than before, and moved closer to Hanbin. That surprised the youngest, making him to step back and hit the sofa.

“Hanbin...”

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

Hanbin felt Jiwon's grip tighten and then relax, all because of the only voice that could handle him that way. Hanbin saw out of the corner of his eye that Junhoe was there. All those miserable feelings he was trying to avoid came back at once. He waved his arms, quickly pulling away from Jiwon now that the older had his attention on someone else. _It's always him, Hanbin, what are you surprised about?_

“Nothing, Junhoe, we were talking.”

Hanbin moved faster by listening to his hyung. Sure, that was nothing because that was how much he cared about Hanbin: nothing.

He walked quickly to get away from the two, leaving them alone in the midst of his awkward aura, the one that Hanbin always hated and with which he had joked so much before to overcome the pain it caused in his chest.

 

    They were about to start recording another episode of KONIC TV, but Hanbin didn’t feel like doing it. Two days passed and neither Jiwon nor him said a word to the other. However, both knew they couldn’t behave like that in front of cameras.

He was in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror, trying to kill as much time as possible. He looked tired, just like Jiwon had told him. He looked just someone whose heart has been broken countless times.

Someone knocked firmly at the door.

“Hanbin... hyung, I know you're there and you aren’t doing anything at all, so get out already!”

Hanbin closed his eyes and exhaled. He stepped heavily until he reached the door and flung it open. Junhoe, who had apparently been leaning on it waiting for a reply, lost his balance and made both of them fall over the floor. He ended up on top of Hanbin, and his thigh was accidentally pressing in his crotch.

Hanbin breathed heavily due to the unexpected impact, and let escape a loud sound that might be mistaken for a moan.

“What the hell is going on?”

Jiwon's voice from outside the bathroom made them both tense, Junhoe moved to get up, causing his thigh to tighten more to Hanbin's crotch. Hanbin ended up moaning for real this time. The two were stunned again by a deep “aahhh” that came out from the throat of the older. Junhoe turned to see him. Hanbin’s face was slowly changing from light pink to a really intense red colour.

“Ge… get off me” the leader stammered.

Junhoe didn’t have enough time to react. He was lifted up by strong arms. Jiwon then took him by the neck and started going away with him. He barely giving Hanbin an ice-cold stare while telling him they had to be in the kitchen to start the broadcasts soon.

Hanbin stood up and washed his face on the sink. He looked down and noticed how his crotch looked a bit bulky. He cursed. There was no time to change his clothes to some a bit looser.  He began to think about those terrible things he hated to remember, so that he could calm down.

 

   Hanbin hated recording that episode even more than the first one. Jiwon ignored him all the time, how unprofessional! He was also touching Donghyuk all the time. Didn’t he say he hated being touched and flirting?

_Oh._

A single thought sent him straight to an abyss. It’s not that he hated being touched. He just hated being touched by Hanbin.

His chest began to hurt so much that he felt he was about to die. He got up from the bed, biting his hand to keep his sobs as silenced as he could and ran out of his room. He heard some noises of the other members in the living room, so he ducked his head and flew straight to the exit.

“Hanbin?” Jinhwan called him worried.

He ignored him, kept running, reached some sandals, then opened and slammed the door behind him. He began to run with more impetus. Obviously, he didn’t wait for the elevator. He went down the stairs almost jumping and fled at full speed from the lobby when he got there. Then he ran away from the building. Far away from the streets he knew. Far away from everything.

In those moments he only wanted to flee, flee forever. He wanted to disappear. Couldn’t he just vanish into dust and float for the eternity? Couldn’t he just disappear a bit more with every step he took?

    After a long time trying to avoid his problems by running away, he stopped and it was at that moment that he started crying for real. He didn’t know where he was and didn’t care either. He found an alley, where he got in and started to cry heartbreakingly, holding on to his knees. The growing pain on his chest left a suffocating feeling of emptiness.

Later, he began to feel cold and very sleepy. Maybe the desire of disappearing would become true after asking for it so much.

Suddenly, someone touched his shoulder. Startled, Hanbin leaned on his back.

“Hey, it's me, Hanbin. Come on.”   

Hanbin looked up and met the worried eyes of his manager. He felt so embarrassed. His appearance was surely disgusting. Staggering, he stood up. Yunhyuk immediately grabbed him to stabilize him.

“You're good? Did someone hurt you?” He asked even more worried.

Hanbin didn’t understand at first.

“None of us did anything to him, sir. We are not bad people.”

Hanbin was startled once more, this time by hearing a strange voice. He turned his head toward the end of the alley, where a group of men were leaning against the wall. They had been there all this time? He wanted to die due to all the grief he felt.

“Hope you get better soon, boy. Shit happens, then things get better. And if they don’t, you can come back here. The homeless don’t judge.”

Hanbin couldn’t do anything but nod and start walking with his manager.

On the way to where Yunhyuk had parked the van, Hanbin's sandal burst open. Hanbin stopped and cursed in his mind. He wished that everything was just a dream. He wished he could go back in time when they hadn’t yet debuted, when everything was easier in certain things, when the only thing they cared about was to make their group better so they could debut.

“Hanbin.”

He swallowed and stiffened at the sound of his name spoken by that voice.

“Hanbin.” Jiwon said again in a more relieved tone.

Hanbin didn’t have time to do much. In a second, Jiwon came to his side and embraced him by the flank. Immediately, turned to face him and hug him more easily. Hanbin stood still, arms on his sides and face bowed.

“Hanbin?” Jiwon sounded alarmed.

“Guys, we have to go.” Yunhyuk said.

Jiwon pulled away from Hanbin long enough to take his face and see him in the eyes. Hanbin avoided his gaze, but he didn’t have either the physical or mental strength to move away from his touch.

“Hanbin, what happened? Tell me, tell me what happens.”

“Guys.” Yunhyuk sounded more severe. He didn’t want any camera to found them like that.

Jiwon put his arm around Hanbin's shoulders and made him walk. He immediately noticed the problem with his sandal and stood in front of him.

“Get on my back or I'll carry you in my arms, bridal style.”

Hanbin was about to refuse, but he didn’t want to cause a commotion. He got on Jiwon's back and held onto it only with his fingertips because he didn’t want to touch him too much.

Jiwon growled.

“Hug me tightly or you could fall.”

“But…”

“Do what I say, Hanbin.”

The younger had no other choice than to obey and, against his will, hug Jiwon. He immediately felt the warmth that his frozen body had needed. He leaned his face into the gap between his hyung's neck and shoulder. He felt completely relaxed and safe. _I’m so pathetic: the place where I’m loved the least is where I feel the most peace._

    Hanbin felt comfortable and warm. And observed. He opened his eyes little by little to meet Jiwon's gaze. That kind look that he liked so much. He felt the fingers of his hyung go through his hair from top to bottom. His heart ached for two reasons: the first one was by how much he liked that sight and how he looked after him, whereas the second one was that he knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up.

“Hello.” Jiwon said in a soft husky voice as if he had just woken up.

Hanbin realized that they were both in the older's bed. He swallowed and immediately turned to Junhoe's bed, but he was not there.

“Who are you looking for?” Jiwon asked. He seemed to want to hide his annoyance.

Right, now only his hyung was allowed to see Junhoe. Hanbin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, preparing to get up.

“Nobody.” He said before making a move.

As soon as he put a hand on the bed to get up and out of it, Jiwon stopped him. Although he didn’t use a lot of strength, Hanbin fell directly on his body.

“You won’t leave.”

“Hyung...”

“No, Hanbin, you will not.” His hands moved to hold the younger by the waist. “I won’t let you do it.”

Jiwon's voice and the way he was touching him made Hanbin feel a sweet feeling running from the centre of his abdomen to all parts of his body. Jiwon felt him trembling and held him tightly to his body, since he thought that he was cold.

“Hyung, please, I wanna take a bath.”

Hanbin put his hands on the other's chest, trying to push him away. Jiwon let him do it.

“It’s fine, whatever you want, Hanbin.” Jiwon moved over him to get out of the bed first, and grabbed him to do the same straightaway. “We’re gonna take a bath.”

Hanbin opened his eyes enormously and shook his head.

“What? No, hyung. I want to take a shower alone.”

Jiwon made a grimace.

“No. We go together or you won’t shower. You choose.”

Hanbin shook his head once more, which seemed to frustrate the older.

“What's wrong with taking a shower with me? We used to do it often before. What have I done that you don’t want to do it anymore?”

Jiwon went so close to him that Hanbin could feel the heat of his body near his again.

“Hyung...”

“Come on.” Jiwon slipped one of his arms around Hanbin's waist and made him walk to the bathroom in his room.

Jiwon turned on the lights and let Hanbin go in first, closed the door behind him and began to undress himself straightaway. The younger's heart was beating wildly when he saw him taking off his shirt, so he looked away immediately. He didn’t know if he would be able to handle this situation. No, no, no. He couldn’t. He needed to get out of there. He turned around and tried to pass by Jiwon's side, who was already taking off his pants. The older caught him without hesitation.

“Ah ah,” Jiwon refused “Where do ya think you are going, Hanbin? Come here, take that away.”

Hanbin slapped Jiwon in order to make him go away. The eyes of the older changed from surprise to sadness.

“Hanbin...”

“I... I'm sorry, hyung, for... please don’t touch me.”

Jiwon moved closer to him, his eyes filled with sorrow.

“Hanbin, why are you always running away from me?”

Jiwon took him again by the waist trying to stop him. Hanbin winced and let out a whine that sounded more like a moan. _No, no, no, Hanbin, control your hormones_.

Jiwon raised an eyebrow at the noise his dongsaeng made. He slid his hands deeper into Hanbin's body and approached to him until there was not an inch between them. His crotch rubbing against the younger's lower back.

Hanbin stepped forward, in the attempt of getting away from that radiating body of heat, the same heat his body wanted and needed, the exact heat of which he felt hungry of. _A rejection is enough_ , he told himself, _but you have already done many_. Jiwon moved in the instant he felt the younger doing so, trapping Hanbin between his body and the closed bathroom door. Hanbin couldn’t help it, he really couldn’t, and ended up moaning at the contact of his growing erection with the door. Also, the feeling of Jiwon’s crotch against his back made him have the unstoppable desire of raising his ass to feel it closer to where he had always been dreaming of. It really was an unavoidable desire, a desire that made his body move without his permission and rubbed against his hyung’s.

“Aaahhh...”

As soon as the moan came out, he put one hand on his mouth and the other one on the door handle, ready to run again. This time, he wouldn’t stop running until he crossed the continent even if he had to do it swimming.

    Jiwon opened his eyes as wide as he never did after he realized that those sounds coming from Hanbin were exactly what he was thinking. He bit his lower lip when he felt Hanbin's perfect ass rubbing against his crotch, and a wave of heat provoked by lust took control of his actions.

He caught sight of Hanbin's movements and sensed that the boy was trying to flee again, but he was not going to allow him to do so. He removed the hand of his partner, leader and best friend from his possible escape, and pushed it against the door, leaving his hand on top of his. He tightened his grip on Hanbin's waist and moved his hips, bending his legs a little so that he could brush against the younger's ass.

“Aaahh, ahhh, Jiwon, ple... ahhhh...”

Electricity ran through the older's body, his cock getting completely hard. Agh, Hanbin's voice sounded so sweetly needed. A flashback came to his mind: the scene of that one morning where he saw the boy sleeping so tightly embraced to Junhoe, with an erection rubbing their bodies. That memory made him get furious. Another flashback: from the day he saw them in the bathroom, Junhoe on top of Hanbin. That thought made his blood boil, especially as he remembered that back then his dongsaeng produced a similar noise to the one he was making at that moment. More flashbacks invaded his mind, moments of Hanbin with Junhoe, Hanbin embracing Jinhwan, Hanbin caressing Yunhyeong in the episode they filmed the previous day... He clenched his jaw. His hips moved erratically against Hanbin's ass.

“Aaah, aahh, Jiwon, why... why...? Aaah...”

Hanbin couldn’t finish a single sentence because Jiwon felt so fucking good behind him. Was him hard? He was, yes, Jiwon was hard and moving to press his erection against him. _Against my ass, aaagh._

Hanbin began to move his hips too, making more and more needy noises. Jiwon couldn’t take it anymore. The hand that was holding the younger's waist lowered in one movement. Hanbin shouted his name, the older smiled as he felt the erection of his favourite dongsaeng in his hand. Hanbin have always been and would always be his favourite. _The clothes were in the way_ , he thought as he massaged the younger, who had already become a moaning chaos, being louder and louder every time. Although the boy tried to silence them by covering his mouth with his free arm, the sounds were wonderfully loud and he couldn’t be quiet.

Jiwon lowered his head, opened his mouth and ran his tongue along the back of Hanbin's neck. He’s always been fascinated by that long neck. He always wanted to do this. Hanbin moaned with the action and immediately grunted with pleasure as he felt Jiwon's teeth biting his skin.

“Ji... Jiwon... aahhh, ple... ple- plea...”

The older, desperate for everything he was feeling, for all the dirty thoughts that were going through his mind, all those things he wanted to do to Hanbin, turned the younger, thrusting him against the wall to face each other. He didn’t give Hanbin time to recover from the shock. He attacked his mouth with voracity. Perhaps his first kiss shouldn’t be like that, so abrupt and needed, so full of lust, so hot, but he couldn’t help it. Hanbin barely moved his lips at first. He had never kissed before and he had no idea how to do it. He didn’t take long to learn. Jiwon's lips, desperate to be followed, made him act and enjoy the overflowing passion that his hyung’s lips provided. His moans were silenced by the older's mouth, especially the moment when he felt a warm tongue entering on it. He moaned loudly, but it was a sound that only came into Jiwon's mouth, a sound that made both of them want more.

Jiwon moved Hanbin's arms so that the younger could hold onto his shoulders, and he lowered his hands to Hanbin's ass. _This wonderful ass_. He squeezed it ostentatiously, unable to control himself, he was out of his mind and he knew it, but Hanbin didn’t slow him down and that empowered him more. He pressed it and caressed it again and again. His lips left Hanbin's mouth, anticipating the moans he was about to hear. He squeezed the younger's ass hard and he responded with an even louder moan.

“Hyung...”

Jiwon was fascinated by the sight, almost came at that moment. Hanbin looked so beautiful with his crystallized eyes full of lust and need, his mouth half open, wet with the mixture of his saliva and red with kisses, and those cheeks, so beautifully blushed.

Jiwon gave him a loud spanking that shook Hanbin's body, raised his face asking without speaking a kiss. Moans were the only thing that his throat was capable of emitting. His blushed cheeks grew redder when he saw Jiwon's satisficed smile. His erections rubbing made him forget all thoughts again.

“My baby is so in need of me, huh.”

Hanbin pressed his hands on Jiwon's shoulders. _No, no, what am I doing?_

“Hyu ... hyung, you shouldn’t ... we shouldn’t be doing this...” he said when he finally found his voice.

Jiwon's gaze darkened. His hands tightened on his ass and he tightened him even more, which didn’t seem possible a moment ago.

“Why, huh?”

“No, I don’t want…”

Jiwon released him immediately. He had felt a strong blow to the chest with those words. _He doesn’t want to do it? So... Did he got hard thinking about someone else?_ His thoughts ran like crazy until he came to an answer that made him feel the blood boil: He may be thinking about Junhoe.

“If you didn’t want to do it, you should have said it instead of rubbing your ass on my cock, or is that how you say no?”

Hanbin trembled at the cruelty of Jiwon's tone. He released the older immediately and hugged himself. Jiwon’s gaze changed the instant he saw him hold back his tears.

“Hanb...”

“No, don’t!” Hanbin shouted. “You said you hated it! You said you don’t want me to touch you! Who were you thinking about while you were touching me? It was Junhoe, right? Do you think I want to be a substitute? Do you think I'm gonna let you do something that would end up in you coursing at me by tomorrow?”

Hanbin shed his tears, the last ones, he swore. He looked away from Jiwon. Now he had to get out of there.

“Junhoe, you said? Why the hell would I think of him...? Okay, I did” Hanbin felt as if he’s just been shot, “but not in that way, God. Hanbin, I've been jealous of him all this time! Yes, I thought about him and you together the moment when you let out your first moan, because for my damn luck I remembered that moment when I saw you two lying on the bathroom floor and...”

“Jealous?” Hanbin interrupted him. “Jealous of Junhoe?”

 “Yes, jealous of him because he was too close to you, Hanbin” Jiwon saw him right in the eyes. “Oh, God. Did you really think I liked him? I just want to be his friend, Hanbin. We are a group that has been together for years! Of course, I want to be his friend.”

“But ... No, you see him differently...”

“Different? How?”

“It's different from how you see me, you...”

Jiwon took him by the chin and kissed him. Hanbin's stomach filled with butterflies. That had been a kiss so soft, tender and sweet.

“Hanbin, why have you been running away from me?”

Hanbin looked down after the painful memory.

“Because you said you hated it when I touched you... You said...”

Jiwon hugged him and whispered in his ear:

“Forgive me, it was a joke that came out of my hands, sorry. I never thought that it would cause you so much damage.”

He pulled away from him only to kiss all over his face with short kisses and hugged him again.

 “Then ... then can I touch you?” What he really wanted to say was ‘I love you, Jiwon’ but he didn’t want to take that risk.

Jiwon smirk, his thumbs wiping Hanbin's tears.

“As long as I can touch you too.”

Hanbin’s face turned red immediately. He nodded. He would never deny that to his hyung.

    After hugging each other for a while, Jiwon made Hanbin take off his clothes so they could both shower together. Although his erections couldn’t remain after what happened, Hanbin couldn’t stop feeling his body hot, especially when he saw Jiwon naked. How could he walk so freely?

Jiwon went into the shower first to adjust water. As soon as the temperature was perfect, he extended his hand for the younger to hold it. Hanbin didn’t want to take it and leave his crotch uncovered. No matter how many times they had seen each other naked, this was different, at least for him.

“Hey, baby, stop acting awkwardly. It's not the first time I see it and it will not be the last time either” he smirked playfully.

Hanbin felt his face burning and his cock waking up. He cursed under his breath. Jiwon would drive him crazy.

Still with his hands covering himself, he went into the shower, where Jiwon looked like a Greek demigod being covered by water. _Agh, Hanbin, calm down._

Jiwon took him by the waist, making his body shudder, and placed him in front of him.

“Okay, don’t show me your dick, baby. I can really enjoy seeing and feeling your ass anyway.”

Hanbin moaned the moment he felt Jiwon's naked cock against his naked ass.

“Jiwoon, aaah.”

The older kissed his neck.

“Mmm, I missed you saying my name.”

Hanbin's heart began to beat like crazy. How could Jiwon change from grunting or hitting him whenever he hugged or touched him so much, to be so... shameless? Hanbin wasn’t stupid. He knew that this wasn’t something that friends would do... as friends or whatever, but he didn’t want to overthink about it. He didn’t want to delude himself with wrong ideas and strong wishes that could break his heart again.

Jiwon continued to push his hips against Hanbin's ass at the same time he took the shampoo and washed his dongsaeng's hair.

“I'm also going to wash your whole beautiful body, baby.”

He smiled satisfied while hearing Hanbin moaning. Again, his mind was filled with a lot of thoughts. Dirty thoughts. He looked down to see how his cock was slipping into the perfect curve of Hanbin's wonderful butt. The sight was way too delightful to ignore, making him feel harder and growing larger. He could imagine him slipping inside that tight ass. He growled helplessly at the mental image and had to use all his strength not to put Hanbin against the wall and get inside him at that very moment.

“Hyu... hyung?”

“Yes, baby?”

Hanbin gasped. His hands were no longer covering his erection. They were squeezing it, trying to resist the desire to masturbate right there with Jiwon behind him. At the mere thought of it, excitement and shame grew in the younger.

“Can... can you get out of the shower for a moment? Just for a few minutes.”

Jiwon frowned.

“Why?”

Hanbin half gasped half moaned at Jiwon's dominant voice; he was the leader, the one who always gave the orders, but he was discovering how much he liked and would like to be the one who has to be pleased. _What are you doing to me, Jiwon?_

“I nee... need... Please, Jiwon hyung, just go out ... aaahhhh”

Hanbin almost cried at how well the touch of the older's hand felt on his erection.

“Mm, no, baby, I can’t go out and leave you like that. Do ya wanna masturbate, huh?”

Hanbin closed his eyes tightly and nodded. The heat in his abdomen was killing him, he wanted to cum in that very moment.

“Okay, but you have to do it in front of me.”

Jiwon released him and turned him around, leaning him against the bathroom wall.

 “Go ahead.” His eyes gleamed dark with anticipation.

 “N-no, Ji-Jiwon.” Hanbin stammered. He had never stuttered in his life before. “No-o I I ca-can’t.”

Jiwon took one of Hanbin's hands in his and carried it to the boy's penis. He made him stroke the length of his erection and then to squeeze it.

“Oh, of course you can, baby, you will... You will do it for me.”

Hanbin released his umpteenth moan, Jiwon squeezed his hand tighter so that Hanbin tightened his around his erection and felt more pleasure. After a few movements, he withdrew his hand and pleasantly watched as Hanbin moved his hand upwards and downwards, masturbating for him. His eyes were barely opened, but definitely fixed on Jiwon. He had to admit he had never felt as powerful as in those moments. He approached the boy to whisper something in his ear.

“Stronger baby, I want you to come for me.”

Hanbin purred, Jiwon pressed his forehead in Hanbin's shoulder, resting his own pulsing erection on the younger's hip. Hanbin felt all his senses overexcited, his hand moving erratically over his member. Jiwon was fascinated, overexcited and about to explode. He pulled his hand away from Hanbin's waist until reached his face, his eyes still fixed on the boy's movements. First, he ran his thumb across the thick lower lip of the most beautiful mouth in the world, feeling his mouth open, sliding his index and middle fingers inside, pleasantly surprised to feel how Hanbin immediately licked and sucked, running his tongue around them.

“Thinking of my cock, baby?”

Hanbin moaned and moved his hand more and more, up and down, up and down. Three more thrusts and Jiwon's name was shouted in a scream, still with those thick fingers inside his mouth, as he came. His hot semen bathed his and the older’s abdomen. When he was done, Jiwon bit his shoulder hard and helped him to keep standing up, so he could finish cleaning Hanbin; the shampoo was still in his hair.

   Of course, Hanbin noticed that his hyung was still hard as a rock. A delicious rock. As soon as they finished bathing, Jiwon wrapped a towel around his hips and made Hanbin do the same so he could dry off his hair first.

They left the bathroom and went to the room, where Jiwon placed Hanbin sitting on his bed to dry his hair. They stayed silent for a few moments, both of them lost in their thoughts. Jiwon was fascinated with what just happened and Hanbin trying not to feel anxious about what would happen tomorrow when he woke up. In addition, Jiwon's covered erection was in front of his eyes.

“Hyung... it... doesn’t it hurt?”

 Hanbin with his head rose to see the older and his eyes half covered by his hair. He looked glorious to Jiwon's eyes.

“Yes, baby. Do ya wanna help me with that?”

Hanbin felt that warmth again being born in his belly at the sight of Jiwon's smile and the darkness in his eyes. Ashamed, his cheeks aflame, he nodded and muttered a yes that Jiwon barely heard.

“How are you going to help me, huh, baby?”

Hanbin shuddered. He loved it when Jiwon called him that way. _Please, call me like that, call only me that way._

Jiwon swallowed, controlling himself for the umpteenth time that day, seeing the great and beautiful eyes of Hanbin watching from below with that expression full of so many things. The younger bit his lip and that could only fill him with more desire. He raised his hand and caressed his mouth. Hanbin gasped, _for me_.

“Do whatever you want to do, baby.”

Hanbin turned red from head to toe, biting his lip again, feeling full of shame for his own desires. _But maybe I will not have another chance,_ he told himself.

With trembling hands, he untied Jiwon's towel, leaving him naked and with a beautiful red erection literally in front of his face. He felt salivate at the same time as thirsty when he noticed the tip leaking. His eyes filled with desire and he decided to leave all shame and future anxiety aside. He licked his lips once more, Jiwon's cock pulsing, and he lunged to lick it.

“Mmmnnn” he couldn’t help but moan with pleasure as he tasted it on his tongue. He had imagined how Jiwon would taste for so long. It was delicious.

Jiwon shuddered with pleasure while seeing Hanbin enjoying him. Especially after seeing his hungry and desiring look, he wanted to fuck that pretty mouth without contemplations, but he had decided to let Hanbin be the one in charge —only this time. He would have the opportunity to do whatever he wants afterwards.

After giving a long lick to the tip, Hanbin began to give small cat licks and then give him small kisses. Jiwon put a hand on his head, stroking his hair and Hanbin was happy and encouraged to do more. After licking it from the base to the tip, he opened his mouth wide to devour its head, still moving his tongue. Jiwon grunted, which made him feel better, especially when he squeezed his hand in his hair. Hanbin could feel that Jiwon was trying to resist and not thrusting in his mouth, which made him moan with the thought. He placed his hands on the older's hips and began circling the sensitive area of his bones as he gradually pushed more and more of Jiwon's member into his mouth. He was really fascinated by how he tasted. When his mouth was full and couldn’t fit anything more, he began to bobbing his head, letting it come in and out of his mouth. His tongue was moving, in hopes of giving his hyung more pleasure.

“So, baby, put my cock more in that beautiful wet mouth that you have.”

Hanbin felt his erection pulse at Jiwon's words. When did he get hard again, and when? And with whom had Jiwon learned to speak like that? He didn’t have enough time to think. Jiwon pulled his hair so he could take more of his cock without forcing him too much. Hanbin groaned and began to bobbing his head faster with powerful sucks. One of his hands flew to his own erection.

 “Do ya get excited while sucking me, baby? You look extremely beautiful when you do it like that. No, don’t stop.”

Hanbin moaned and groaned, increasing his rhythm more each time in both, his mouth and his hand. Shortly after, when he felt he was about to reach his limit, about to cum, Jiwon forced him to let out his member. A plop sounded loud and then Hanbin's moan.

“Hyu... hyung...”

“Sorry, baby, I'm so close.”

Hanbin licked his lips, leaned forward and opened his mouth, ready to take Jiwon's member back inside, but the elder stopped him.

“No, baby, I'm gonna cum in your face.”

“Bu-but... you said I could do whatever I wanted.” Hanbin murmured.

“Do you want…?”

Jiwon couldn’t even finish asking when Hanbin was already nodding quickly. His face was red with embarrassment, but still looking him in the eyes to convince him. Jiwon smiled at him almost tenderly. Instantly his smile transformed into a wolfish one and his eyes shone in anticipation. He grabbed him by the hair and brought him closer to his crotch.

Hanbin immediately opened his mouth to devour everything he could from him. Jiwon couldn’t help but grunt as he felt the heat wet mouth. He was fascinated by how well the younger did it, in spite of being this his first time. He wanted to push him so hard, until Hanbin's nose hit his abdomen, but it's his first time... _and all of his first times are going to be mine_ , he thought with exhilaration. Watching him masturbate for the pleasure he felt at having him in his mouth, made Jiwon grow harder and bigger. Feel him groaning made him go closer to his limit. Hanbin struggled to cup his cheeks more, move his tongue more and let it enter his throat, making the movements faster and faster until everything was too much to handle. Jiwon felt something explode from within him, running through his body, his length and it spilled in the mouth of Hanbin, who, of course, sucked and licked greedily without being able to prevent a bit spilling out from his lips. While still sucking the remains, Hanbin moaned and came too.

 

    When he awoke from that idyllic night, Jiwon's warmth was still there, at his side, hugging him as hard as anyone had ever done before, and the way he didn’t anyone else to do it. He knew he couldn’t live his whole life in that precious moment, so he took a few minutes, just a few minutes, to see up close the face of the man he loved; he ran his fingers over his face, from his forehead to his chin, and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, Jiwon didn’t wake up. Slowly, he got out of bed, covering Jiwon's naked body, and went to take a shower and wash his mouth. When he was done, the older was still asleep and he didn’t want to disturb him. He dressed and slowly closed the door behind him. He needed to apologize to his manager, and he already had the perfect excuse for what had happened.

In the living room were the others gathered, all were silent and gave a strange look to Hanbin; he immediately knew why.

“Guys, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday... or before yesterday. I don’t remember how much I slept, haha... I'm sorry, I had a nervous breakdown after reading some comments in an old New Kids post and...”

“Hanbin” Jinhwan cut him off, his voice worried and relieved at the same time. “I told you a thousand times not to read those things.”

He approached him and hugged him around the waist.

“Yes, Hanbin, only a fool would read that garbage.” Junhoe growled, immediately getting patted on the arm by Chanwoo.

“Forget that, Hanbinah. They're people who are paid for talking shit about others” Yunhyeong approached and hugged him from the other side, leaning his head on his shoulder.

“Is it the love hour?” Jiwon laughed, but Hanbin thought he heard he was holding back from grumbling.

Hanbin avoided turning around to see him, but the older approached and pulled him to separate him from his other hyungs.

“We have to eat, Hanbinah. Why don’t we have breakfast together?”

Hanbin smiled and nodded. The best thing to do was to go back to the time when no romantic drama had passed through their lives.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys this is erikonic^^ thank you so much for read my first iKON fic. It was a little difficult to me translate all the fic from Spanish and I know it can containe some errors, if you note them please tell me and I can improve the story. Thank you so much to @arza00ny twitter user whom corrected my grammar.  
> I'm writing more fics if anybody want to help me with corrections I'll be so grateful!!!  
> Sorry for my lame smut, it's my first too, I've writing since a few years and never I would have thought I was write some like this but... y'know DoubleB kkkk.  
> So, thanks again if read it, chokokissus ♥


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me again. Thank you so much for read my first DoubleB. I hope you have enjoyed with it.  
> I want to thank to Cheeky @cheeky131 twitter user whom help me sooo much with this second part (sorry for have so many errors :c) she corrected my translate ♥  
> Oh, and I writing a new fic it's a DoubleB/JunBin au, if you are interested maybe you can check my twitter I began to upload it there, when the first chapter end I'll upload it here. It could contain many errors 'cause I don't have someone to check it (if you want and have time to do it, please tell me -I can't bother Cheeky again, right?-).  
> Well, thanks again to read it ♥ Cokokissus^^

Jiwon couldn’t take his eyes off him. Finally, after a week, he and Hanbin met again. They had to broadcast KONIC TV, this time the seven would appear. Honestly, he didn’t give a shit about the broadcast, he wanted to talk to Hanbin, hug him, kiss him, take him to his room and ... He clenched his hands into fists, telling himself he had to calm down. He adjusted his hat and put on a huge smile when he approached his dongsaeng who was entering the practice room. Donghyuk exhaled and shook his head, Jiwon had left him with the word in his mouth.

“Hey, Hanbinnie.” Hanbin smiled at him shortly, his dark eyes fixed on his. Jiwon was sure the boy was trying to look calm; he was getting it.

“Hey, hyung, you're on time today.”

Then there was a silence between uncomfortable and electrifying, in the end Hanbin's cheeks burned and Jiwon felt that he was winning a battle he didn’t know he had been fighting.

With the staff already there, Jiwon couldn’t talk about the things he really needed to talk about, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t anxious to stay with his dongsaeng and want to know what he had done all those days that he had slipped away from everyone.

Hanbin had gone to visit his family, he was supposed to only come and go in the same afternoon, but in the end, he spent a whole week away from the dormitories, away from him. The worst thing was that the same day he had left, it had been the day after they get close again, so Jiwon hadn’t had the opportunity to say anything.

He knew he could have talked to Hanbin on the phone, but he wasn’t that stupid to deal with such a sensitive issue that way, it would have been as if he didn’t care enough and he wasn’t going to let Hanbin believe things that were not.

“How have you been?”

Hanbin opened his mouth to answer him, but Junhoe appeared at the same moment from behind, hugged him by the shoulders and dragged him with him.

“Sorry, Bobby hyung, I need Hanbin for a few moments.”

“It's hyung!” Hanbin shouted to the younger.

Jiwon stood stiffly watching Hanbin being pulled away from him in a blink of an eye. Again, he was doubting Junhoe. There were a lot of times Jiwon wanted to break that awkward aura that surrounded them all the time. He wanted to be comfortable around Junhoe and live and joke and play as he did with everyone else; On the other hand, he couldn’t shrug the thought that Junhoe felt something for Hanbin. He was almost certain of that. Junhoe could play the fool, could pretend amnesia whenever he wanted to or just avoid the things he didn’t like, but whenever something was said by Hanbin or something that involved the leader, Junhoe was heedful even if it was feigning indifference from afar, what he did less every day, because each time he showed more openly how much he care about Hanbin. Bobby knew that Junhoe was a lonely guy, he knew there were even times when he asked Jinhwan to leave him alone, that he felt he was bothering him, but with Hanbin it was never like that, he even looked for him and asked him to go together to this or that place as if what they talk or do couldn’t be shared with anyone else.

Before, Jiwon had been tolerated all that, he didn’t see it as something to worry about, until the day he saw them sleeping together and the pieces fell into place as the days progressed and he realized that maybe he could be replaced.

He sat next to Yunhyeong so he could observe what Hanbin and Junhoe were doing. They were both in a corner of the room, with their backs on him and staring at Junhoe's cell phone, sharing earphones to hear something. Hanbin began to laugh, that funny laugh that came from his chest and made him close his eyes almost completely. Junhoe laughed with him, came closer and pulled him tight in that hug that seemed to have never ended. Jiwon’s gaze sharpened. From the other seat, Donghyuk looked at him as if asking him to stop doing that, Jiwon rolled his eyes, took out his cell phone and started listening to music. He needed to calm down before introducing himself to his beloved iKONICS.

His eyes were closed when he felt a soft touch on his cap. He opened his eyes and saw Hanbin passing in front of him to go sit next to Yunhyeong, everyone was already gathered. Jiwon smiled, he had missed that. Yes, he had been the only one with the great and stupid idea to say that he hated Hanbin touching him and flirting with him a half-meant joke that had gotten out of hand. Right. He didn’t hate Hanbin touching him, he loved it and he loved to touch him too, but in front of the audience, of so many cameras with so many people that could use this or that to sink or degrade his group or Hanbin or himself, it seemed too much. Too much because Hanbin knew no bounds, because Hanbin's gaze was so intense and sparkles that it seemed he was in love with whoever he was touching, whether he or anyone else. Of course, he now realized how badly he had behaved, how much he had hurt his dongsaeng.

After what happened that day, the kisses and the caresses, the tears of Hanbin, the obvious jealousy of both, Jiwon was almost certain that his feelings were reciprocated, but only one person could be completed that “ _almost”_ and this day was going to be the day when he was going to get rid of all his doubts. Jiwon tried not to stare at Hanbin too much, he didn’t want the fans to catch in his eyes the feelings that his eyes sometimes couldn’t contain; Hanbin seemed to do the same. However, he couldn’t help but glance at him from time to time, although he managed not to smirk every time, he caught his dongsaeng looking at him and then looking away when he was caught _in_ _fraganti._

When the broadcast ended, Jiwon moved in a second, grabbed Hanbin by the wrist and dragged him out with him. He didn’t care about the shouts of his manager or the looks of other members, most of them already knew what had happened between them that day, even Junhoe, who loved to pretend ignorance.

“Hyung...”

Jiwon turned to see Hanbin, gave him a smile that made the younger feel shy. They left the building without saying anything, Jiwon sent a text to his manager telling him that they were going straight to the dormitories, that he didn’t need to worry, immediately received a call, but he ignored it. He could fight the next day with anything, for now, the most important thing for him was Hanbin.

 

He then hailed a cab a few blocks later. He sat very close to the younger, touching his hands, Hanbin looked at him askance, seemed to contain a smile, as well as a look of concern. Jiwon looked straight ahead, concentrating on planning once more the words he was going to use. When they reached the dormitory and get into the lift, he stood in front of Hanbin and extended his hand, looking into his eyes. Hanbin looked down, bafflement was evident in his eyes when he raised his gaze back at him there was a battle in his eyes, but in the end, he lifted his hand and slid fingers between his.

They walked hand in hand down the hallway to the door of their apartment, Jiwon let Hanbin in first, made him sit on the couch. He had planned things step by step, but couldn’t resist being so close, alone. He leaned down and kissed Hanbin, a soft and content kiss, the younger let out a sigh with his eyes closed when Jiwon stroked his face. He kissed him again, hugged him and ran his hands down Hanbin's back, giving him soft caresses that sought to make him feel comfortable.

“Hyung...”

Hanbin hugged him back, for the whole week he hadn’t stopped thinking about Jiwon, his look, his mouth, his arms, his hands. He couldn’t avoid dreaming every night with him, with his wet kisses, his hot touch, his hard cock... He had he longed for him so much, he had missed him so much. In his dreams they didn’t stop after Hanbin pleased Jiwon with his mouth, in his dreams they did everything and when they finished, they remained in each other’s arms, locking eyes and whispering sweet nothings that feed his heart. When he woke up in his empty bed, in his parents' house with wet underwear, he cursed again and again because he had sworn, he wouldn’t fall for silly illusions, that he wouldn’t long for, that he wouldn’t idealize... that he would forget. But every day had been the same, always wanting to return to past to live the same over and over again, to be in the arms of his hyung and feel loved even if everything was caused by the growing lust locked in a healthy man that should be dating and fucking whoever he wanted, but that he was bound by a contract not to do it.

“Hanbin, look at me.”

They separated enough to see each other's eyes. Jiwon could notice the obvious lust covered Hanbin's dark gaze. He stroked his face again.

“I missed you so much, did you miss me, huh, baby?” He kissed him again, this time opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Hanbin suppressed a groan and nodded. Had Jiwon really missed him? His heart was beating like crazy. He needed to have him closer, he needed to feel his skin, was desperate for his touch, for his warmth. He moved to stick more, Jiwon noticed his desperation, lowered his hands to his waist and moved him to sit on his lap. Hanbin turned red immediately, especially when he realized that this position could become one of his favorites. Jiwon hugged him tightly, sinking his head into his chest. Hanbin's blush spread to his neck at the thought that Jiwon was listening to the disaster he was causing in his heart.

“Hey, you don’t regret what happened that day, right?”

Hanbin delayed a bit to find his voice, but in the end, he managed to speak.

“No, hyung, do you?”

Jiwon smiled, _as if I could_ He moved his head enough for his mouth to find Hanbin's nipple and bit him gently, the blue hoodie the boy wore didn’t help much, but Hanbin groaned low anyway when he felt what he was doing. Jiwon raised his head.

“I'll never regret it, Hanbinah. And I don’t want you to do it, okay?” Hanbin nodded, hypnotized by his hyung's gaze.

“Tell me you love me” Jiwon ordered. He instantly regretted his tone, things weren’t happening as he had planned. First was talking, then kissing, then sex. Why the hell couldn’t he stop himself for a damn time? He couldn’t restart from the beginning, Hanbin was on his lap and he didn’t think to lower it, neither thought to stop tightening his small waist, nor planned to stop kissing him.

Hanbin didn’t know what to do, his heart was beating rapidly. How could Jiwon ask for that?

His face couldn’t burn anymore. Should he say it? Should he reveal his most hidden feelings?

_He probably already knows, Hanbin, just say it._

He bit his lip, of course he wanted to say those words, for a long time, but it hurt to think that

he wouldn’t be requited.

“Jiwon hyung, I love you.”

His mouth trembled when after an eternal silence he did what his hyung wanted. Jiwon smiled warmly, because he was sure Hanbin hadn’t said that just because he ordered it. He kissed him sweetly, pushed his tongue against Hanbin's mouth, which allowed him to enter without objection. Their bodies came so close that there wasn’t a millimeter of space between them, Jiwon lowered his hands to take Hanbin by the ass, lift him up a bit and make him sit on his growing erection. Hanbin groaned and began to move his hips, fascinated by how Jiwon's limb felt against him, imagining what it would be like if they were both naked.

They continued kissing, moving their hips to rub against their bodies, Hanbin ignoring that, just as he had thought, Jiwon hadn’t answered anything after his love declaration. Jiwon pressed his hands into Hanbin's ass, burying his fingers in his skin in despair. He was about to change positions, thinking about throwing Hanbin on the couch, when the door opened and a loud murmur and laughter were cut in a heavy silence. Hanbin immediately separated from him, falling to the ground as he tried to get out of his lap.

“Hey, baby, are you okay?”

Jiwon immediately moved to try to lift him, but Hanbin ignored him and stood up by himself, lowered his hoodie to cover the obvious bulge in his crotch and looked everywhere but at the front, where all his friends were. Jiwon took a deep breath, also embarrassed to be discovered that way, but he didn’t care so much what they had to say, he worried more about Hanbin feeling bad.

“You...” Donghyuk looked at them without blinking “should warn us that you are gonna do these things. I told ya that this was gonna happen! We should have gone to dinner, but no, you never listen to me.”

Hanbin couldn’t find a place to hide his head, he was about to run away when Jiwon hugged him.

 

“Hey, baby, calm down.”

Hanbin wanted to push Jiwon away, but he couldn’t beat the strength of his hyung.

“Yes, Hanbin, calm down” Junhoe said in a dark tone, “we all know what happened between you, why act embarrassed now?”

Without saying anything else, Junhoe turned around and went to Jinhwan and Donghyuk's room. Hanbin looked at Jiwon with fear, his face pale. Everyone in the group knew what they had done that night? He shook his head, a hand covered his mouth, was that why they had looked at him strange that morning? He was going to die of shame. Stupidly he had believed it was because he had fled not because he had intercourse with Jiwon. He remembered that he hadn’t exactly been the quietest person, he had moaned and shouted his hyung's name over and over again; his head wanted to explode. He needed to leave, he needed to get away from everyone, operate his face, change his name and start a new life in South America working in a restaurant or selling seashells to tourists on some distant and unknown beach. Jiwon seemed to read the urgency in his eyes because in a second he hugged him and began to whisper in his ear.

“Hey, baby, everything is fine, relax.”

“Hanbinah” this time was Jinhwan who talked, “don’t worry too much about this, it's not a big thing, you know? We all know you’ve been in love since forever, so calm down and don’t think about running away, ok? And, you three, to your rooms, gonna let these two fix their things, only, not much noise, understood? Junhoe will stay in our room, so ... you know.”

Hanbin sank his head deeper into Jiwon's chest, dead with grief. He was the leader and yet he had let his members see that pitiful side of him.

“Fighting, hyung!” Chanwoo laughed, maybe he was making fun, maybe he just didn’t know how to make the ambience relax.

“Aish, Chanwooyah, go now” Yunhyeong slapped the maknae on his arm. “Relax, Hanbinah, you know that we are family and we support you with all our heart, even if we make fun of you.”

“Yas, hyung, we’ll not be able to avoid laughing, but that doesn’t mean that we dislike, just don’t kiss much in front of a group of lonely and needy men, pleeaaaase” said Donghyuk. Hanbin nodded, still with his head buried in his hyung's chest. How had he reached such a shameful situation? How had he let something like that happen? He clenched his fists; everything went wrong because of his love... and his lust. It could easier to blame Jiwon but that would be unfair, at no time he had forced to do anything; everything had been under his consent, everything they had done he had wanted and enjoyed it, but...

“Bin, hey, listen...”

Hanbin stepped away from Jiwon and took his hands off.

“I’ll go to sleep.”

The older exhaled frustrated, knowing things had gone this bad because he hadn’t managed to contain himself. He followed Hanbin to their shared room, grateful that Junhoe had shown enough rationality not to get in his way any further. He took a breath before opening the door, the younger had been fast enough to get there long before he closed it behind him.

The lights were off, a lump was covered in Hanbin’s bed.

Jiwon sat on the edge of the bed, caressing Hanbin’s side without lifting the sheets, understanding that he had to give him space. He kissed the covered crown and leaned on his side. He could wait a little longer but he couldn’t just walk away like it was nothing. He had missed him too much in the time they were apart and leaving him alone would feel like a sin.

“Rest baby. Tomorrow we’ll talk.”

One more kiss and he closed his eyes, tightening the grip a little so he could feel Hanbin’s right there next to him.

 

   Hanbin was sitting in the dining room, taking a quick breakfast at six in the morning. He had decided to get up early to avoid everyone, because although he couldn’t run again (technically he could, but he should not), he could evade everyone again until the next episode of KONIC TV. _There is always something new to compose_ , he said to himself, looking at the backpack he had packed thinking about making a camping trip in the studio... A week-long camping trip.

Actually, he wished he wouldn’t run away, he would like to have the courage to face his members, but he just couldn’t. _He_ had been _up_ in _Jiwon’s lap. Moaning like a whore!_ Suddenly the cereal stopped coming down his throat, he swallowed with difficulty and got up more determined to leave for now. He regretted leaving his hyung like that, sleeping peacefully while he left him carrying the full weight of receiving dirty comments and jokes, but he couldn’t stay, not for now. For his luck, Jaewon lived near the company, he wouldn’t have problems to shower and maintain his personal hygiene.

He washed his plate and spoon, then brushed his teeth in the same kitchen sink and turned around to leave once and for all.

“Are you the husband who goes for cigarettes or the wife who one day flees with the best friend of his?”

Hanbin clenched his jaw at Junhoe's gesture of displeasure.

“I'm going to the studio.”

“With clothes for a month?”

“It's clothes for a week, Hoe. I'm busy.”

Hanbin threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked past by Junhoe but the younger grabbed him by the shoulder to stop him and talked over his ear.

“Do you think that by leaving you can erase everything, B.I.?” Hanbin wanted to shrink, but kept his composure.

“Do you want to forget what you did?”

Hanbin felt ticklish when Junhoe's warm breath hit the bare skin of his neck and a blow to his stomach with the coldness in the tone of his words.

“I need to work” he said and turned away from his dongsaeng.

Jaeho hyung was entering the apartment when Hanbin saw him and pulled him by the arm.

“Drop me in the studio, please, hyung.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, he just went out and walked to the elevator, his red ears of thinking about all the things his members might have been talking about while he and Jiwon fucked without thinking about where they were. Just last night he had told Jiwon he didn’t regret what they had done, but now he wasn’t sure of his words.

 

       He was taking a break in the studio when out of nowhere the door opened abruptly and startles him.

“Hyung, I already told you not to do that.”

Jaewon smirk, ran his hand through his hair, and dropped into the chair beside him.

“Mom brought the food.” He put a card on the desk.

Hanbin shook his head, though he laughed anyway.

“Will we go out again for ramen? You're a bad mother, hyung.”

“Oh, shut up, I still let you do your mess in my place.”

“I'm a clean boy, you cannot say that.”

It had been three days since Hanbin was in Jaewon's apartment, he had also been using his studio instead of going to his own and had tasked Donghyuk by message to take charge of the dance practices. Yunhyuk had interceded for him to take another day off before the next KONIC TV, his manager had argued an anxiety attack caused by stress, which had earned him those days off being at home and now these more. Yunhyuk seemed to know what was really going on, but as always, he stayed on the sidelines, waiting for Hanbin to be comfortable to talk.

“Come on, I'm dying of hunger.”

Hanbin nodded to Jaewon, saved his files and took his backpack with him. They walked through the dark streets of Seoul, talking about trivial things. Hanbin felt better, relieved a little because he had avoided thinking about things that made him feel anxious; he had wanted to talk to Jaewon about what had happened, but the same shame hadn’t allowed him to do so. In addition, he preferred to remain silent for now, so he could enjoy this state of tranquillity until the day of his return arrived.

They were laughing when Hanbin saw whom he least expected to see leaving the store to which he was going. He swallowed hard when he saw Jiwon, he clenched his mouth when he saw Junhoe was going out too, he caught up with the older and he put an arm around his back, got too close to say something. Junhoe laughed, a nervous laugh, his ears red. Jiwon raised his head and moved closer to Junhoe's face. Hanbin felt a pang in his chest, his eyes began to itch, he bit his lower lip and turned around.

“Hanbinnie?” Jaewon went after him.

“I'm sorry, hyung, I'm not hungry, I'm going back to the studio.”

 

       He was sitting in the practice room, although he had appointed Donghyuk the general rehearsal, he also needed to practice. Sweat trickled down his chest, he had spent the last four hours dancing without break. He preferred kept himself busy to exhaustion. He wanted to just fall dead on Jaewon’s couch after a tiring day than let his mind be clouded with unwanted thoughts.

He made a turn that went wrong because of fatigue, he fell face down on the floor without being able to reach his hands.

“Aaaghh” he shouted when he felt the blood on his nose.

He felt hot and then he was aware of the liquid that began to stain his face. With one hand he tried to cover himself, he got up quickly and went to his backpack, where he took out a shirt he used to press his nose. With the backpack on his shoulder, he left the practice room in the direction to bathrooms. He heard Jinhwan's voice at the end of the corridor, so he turned back to go to the other side only to find Jiwon, Junhoe and Donghyuk. Hastily he went back where he came not wanting to be seen. Of the surprise he leaned back, turned around, almost launching into a race.

“Hanbin!”

He heard them called, but he ignored all of them and started running instead. He didn’t know if it had been for the blood lost or for the surprise, but he felt that he was going to faint at any moment.

He ran past Jinhwan and Yunhyuk who also called him and went straight the rest room. The white shirt was completely stained, between pink and red and brown. He opened a faucet and began to throw water to his face, washing the blood that continued to come out of his nose, although in smaller quantities.

The door flew open, now all iKON was gathered around him questioning it without rest.

Hanbin exhaled and put his shirt back on his nose.

“Calm down, I fell while practiced, everything is fine.”

The way he said that is as if he was telling them to leave him alone, which was true. His eyes met Jiwon and Junhoe, he turned immediately to wash his face again.

“We have to go to see a doctor, Hanbin” said Yunhyuk, pushing aside the boys and placing himself on the side of the younger to be able to look him over.

“I'm going with you, hyung” Jiwon said immediately.

“Don’t.”

Everyone was surprised by Hanbin's tone, even Jiwon who immediately showed a sad and surprised gesture.

“I'm fine, hyung.” Hanbin addressed his manager.

“Look, blood has stopped coming out.” Yunhyuk shook his head, in the end he made it go to medical check.

 

    On the way back, Yunhyuk couldn’t keep silent.

“Hanbinnie, what's going on between you and Bobbyah? Don’t play the sleeper, I know you're awake.”

Hanbin sighed, but said nothing. After five minutes Yunhyuk spoke again:

“Whatever it is, I want you to solve this now. In two days is the next broadcast and it's just you, Bobbyah and Chanwooyah, I don’t want you to worry the fans.” Hanbin nodded.

“Hyung, why are we here?”

How easy it was for his manager to ask him that.

His manager unbuckled his seatbelt.

“We are in home. I’ll go pick up your suitcase from Jaewon’s house tomorrow.”

Hanbin wanted to argue, but knew immediately that this time he would no longer have a chance to run. _It’s ok, Hanbin, you can do it, you're not a coward,_ he said to himself. The truth was that he hadn’t been encouraged in the least.

 

Everyone was gathered in the room, it seemed that they were getting ready to leave, which caused some relief in the chaotic disaster that was inside the mind of Hanbin. Again, he avoided Jiwon's gaze.

“Are you better?” Jinhwan asked holding his face and moving it to verify that it was.

Hanbin was pretty good, he had only a bruise barely visible.

“Hey, hyung, your nose doesn’t get worse” Chanwoo said. Hanbin gave him a look that made him immediately go to his side and embrace him. “Just kidding, hyung, I'm happy to see you well.”

They were all around him to hug him except for Junhoe and Jiwon.

Hanbin almost forgot that few days ago he had felt insecure to look his members in the eye for what happened in that same living room.

“Are you coming with us, Hanbinah?” Yunhyeong was still clinging to his side. “We will go to eat sushi.”

Hanbin shook his head.

“I want to sleep, my head hurts, can I sleep in your room?” Yunhyeong frowned, but nodded immediately.

“Of course, use my bed, you know it's cleaner than Chanwooyah's.”

“Hey, my bed is super clean, don’t treat me like I am June!”

Everyone laughed except Hanbin, who managed to force a smile. Silence reigned again.

“See you” Hanbin said, breaking Yunhyeong's grip.

When he passed Jiwon and Junhoe’s side, who were strangely close, he didn’t turn around to see them.

He had problems falling asleep, but thanks to the medicines, when he did, he woke up the following day.

 

   He got up early, Yunhyeong and Chanwoo were asleep in the younger's bed. He thought about going to his room to find some clothes, but then the idea seemed horrible. What if he found Junhoe and Jiwon in the same bed, hugging each other? His heart ached again, but this time he didn’t cry, because he had already said that night that he wouldn’t shed any more tears for Jiwon (or for anyone else). He opened one of Yunhyeong's drawers, borrowed something and went to the bathroom in the hall to take a shower. The bruise on his nose was a little more noticeable, but luckily he hadn’t broken bone or cartilage.

“Noonas could cover it with makeup” he told himself in the mirror, thinking about the broadcast he would have the next day.

He could hear someone’s knocking on the door. It was Junhoe. Hanbin narrowed his eyes, didn’t they have a bathroom in his room? The younger seemed to understand.

“Bobby hyung is taking a shower.”

Hanbin tilted his head, this time making a gesture of “did I ask?” He wanted to move, get out of there before he could say something to Junhoe that he will later regret. He was angry at him for being Jiwon's object of desire, but he was angrier at himself for believing in the words that his hyung had told him. He had allowed himself to be wrapped easily by that veil of lust that had covered his eyes that night, however, it was more than obvious that they had all been lies that Jiwon had said to soothe his aching and anxious heart. Maybe also to get some pleasure from someone who was willing to give it to him with that ease?

“Hanbin, I'm sorry have talked to you like that that day.”

Hanbin stopped, was Junhoe apologizing?

“It doesn’t matter” he said, and tried to pass through him again, but the younger didn’t budge.

Junhoe crouched enough to hug him, leaving his head on his shoulder.

“Can you not get mad at me? Please, I don’t want us to be distant when we're finally getting close.”

Hanbin remained tight-lipped. He didn’t want to get angry either because he had no right to do so. He patted his back without hugging him.

“You know why I'm like this, right?”

“Bobby hyung. You think he feels something for me.”

“I don’t believe anything, he does, Junhoe, I know he does. And I know you requite his feelings. And you know exactly how I feel, so just give me time. I don’t hate you, just give me time and things will go back to how they were. And, although I don’t think it is necessary to say it, anyway, I want you to know that I don’t intend to interfere with you.” Junhoe tightened his embrace.

“Hanbin...”

“It’s hyung” he tried to joke, moved away without letting him say anything more.

He decided to go for a walk on the Han River, he wanted to clear his mind. He knew it was time to move on, no illusion that could have figured with Jiwon was going to be fulfilled. He should be grateful to have had many of his first times with the person he was in love with, now needed to leave the past in the past and continue. His unrequited love had lasted too long, he had created a storm on the river, now it was time to clear the sky and let the current down.

“You shouldn’t go out without cell phone.”

Hanbin tried not to make a grimace.

“I've been fine without it all these days.”

Jiwon took his hand, but quickly he pulled it away.

“If you had it with you, would you have answered my calls? My messages? Why are you running away, Hanbin? I don’t understand you, I thought you loved me.”

Hanbin laughed ironically.

“Not because I'm in love with you I'm going to lose the little I have left of dignity, hyung.” Jiwon clenched his jaw, why did Hanbin now behave that way? He had thought that after that night everything was going to be sunshine and flowers, but instead his dongsaeng had only managed to cause discomfort after discomfort.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you here, hyung?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jiwon answered exasperated.

“No.” Hanbin was staring at the surface of the river. “Hyung, you already know what my feelings are, please don’t play with them, don’t look for me just because you want someone to fuck with. Why don’t you just go with Junhoe? Don’t play dumb. I know that you know he has feelings for you too.” Hanbin stood up, facing Jiwon. “I already asked Junhoe to give me time, please do the same. I will not hate you for... loving each other. Just give me time and don’t get too close to me because...”

“Junhoe again? Hanbin, why the hell does Junhoe always have to be in our conversations? And what feelings? I already told you that I don’t feel anything for him.”

Hanbin sharpened his gaze, Jiwon shook his head, still unable to understand the younger. He jumped up, feeling frustrated.

“I saw you with him, hyung, all this time I've seen how you look at him. Even though I wanted to believe your words that day, I just can’t shrug off the truth... I'm not gonna do this anymore.”

Jiwon wasn’t thinking clearly, he really wasn’t, his body acted on its own: he kissed him. There, outside, where everyone could see them. Hanbin immediately pulled away from him and looked all around, his eyes filled with panic.

“Don't tell me what I'm supposed to feel, Hanbin, because I know too well who I want and who I don’t. I know what I feel when I see you and when I see the rest of the world. I know that years ago I stopped thinking about you as a friend, that I never got too close to you ‘cause I believed that looks that seemed to scream ‘I love you’, in the end were the same for everyone else. I know I thought it was you who had feelings for Junhoe, but I believed in your words when you told me that it wasn’t like that. Even if you kept running away from me and I’m full of doubts, I trusted you when you told me that you loved me, though it seemed that I forced you to say that. But you, you never believe me. Why the hell can’t you do the same for me?”

Jiwon was desperate, what was missing? His kisses and hugs had not spoken for him? His obvious jealousy had not been enough? Why couldn’t Hanbin believe him? Had he thought he just wanted to sleep with him? He looked him straight in the eyes, his chest hurt when he saw Hanbin was holding back his tears.

“You never said it... I told you, but you didn’t” the younger whispered, resisting crying.

It was when he saw how Hanbin's mouth trembled that Jiwon understood. He looked around this time before acting, there were no people around. He hugged him warmly and went to his ear.

“I love you, Hanbinnie, only you, always you, sorry for saying this so late, sorry for making your mind believed things that are not (although that wasn’t my intention), sorry for having done that horrible joke. Sorry for hurting you so much, for making you feel insecure.”

Hanbin's heart seemed dead, the emotion that filled him was so great that his heartbeat was so fast that it seemed to be stopped. He returned Jiwon’s embrace. A small, tiny part of his mine, recriminated falling so fast before the charm of those words, but the rest of himself was overwhelmed with how good it felt to hear those words of Jiwon.

Soon after, Hanbin realized the place where they were. He let go of Jiwon and looked around, his hyung did the same. None found cameras spying on them.

 

    They were on the sofa, Hanbin with his head in Jiwon's lap. The two laughed at an anecdote told by the eldest, the rest were still sleeping in their rooms, the day before they had arrived at dawn; That day his schedule began at four in the afternoon so it was normal for nobody to get up.

Jiwon was running his hands through Hanbin's hair, that comfortable silence he had missed reigned since a few minutes.

“Hyung, just... I just want to clarify this, you and June...?”

The older bent to kiss his forehead, then a peck on his lips.

“A few days ago? he told me he felt something for me, we went together for some ramen and on the way, he confessed it all at once, I could only say thank you, but that there was no way I could reciprocate him. It's you, Hanbin or nobody else.”

Hanbin smiled, his eyes shining with every word he heard. He reached up and caressed Jiwon's cheek. How incredible it was to think that just a few hours ago he was thinking of never believing in his words, move on from him and continue with his life, and now he was there, feeling that he was floating with the happiness that filled his chest.

 

         This episode of KONIC TV Hanbin liked very much, he, Jiwon and Chanwoo had too much fun in the VR games. Above all, he had loved that he and Jiwon had been the same as before, joking and fooling around. He had avoided touching his hyung too much, because now he understood why Jiwon didn’t want so many demonstrations in public and he knew that, now more than ever, it was better to refrain from touching him too much, he didn’t want to reveal what happened between the two of them, what if one day he couldn’t control himself and ended up kissing him or something?

He leaned on Jiwon's shoulder, now he didn’t have to worry about that because they were sitting next to each other in the van that would take them to the dormitories, Chanwoo was in the passenger seat next to Jaeho hyung. The older immediately pulled him closer to him, hugging him by the waist and letting him rest his head on his shoulder, Hanbin didn’t take long to fall asleep.

“Baby, up.”

Jiwon kissed the crown of Hanbin's head and moved him gently, in response he got a groan, then the younger opened his eyes a little.

“We're here?” He asked in a murmur that not everyone could have understood.

“Yes, baby, come on.”

Jiwon held Hanbin all the way to his room. Although Junhoe's bed was still there, he had moved the day before to Jinhwan and Donghyuk's bedroom. Hanbin had tried to convince him to stay, but everyone knew that it was better to let him be, especially Jiwon, who was worried about having broken his heart, increasing the awkwardness that already reigned between the two, but there was no anything he could do, he had Hanbin.

He laid Hanbin on his bed, took off his pants, then removed clothes, because he preferred to sleep in his underwear, and lay down beside the younger. Hanbin let out a satisfied moan when he joined him, Jiwon kissed his shoulder and wished him good night. He closed his eyes and smiled, he knew he was the luckiest man on Earth, Hanbin was next to him, there was nothing more perfect than that.

 

The younger woke up in the middle of the night. He felt warm and safe, he smiled feeling the hug of his hyung. He felt so happy. How many times he had had dreams where he and Jiwon lay in his bed, satisfied by the simple fact of being with the other, and now it was real. He slid his fingers slowly over the arm with which his hyung was holding him, enchanted with the idea that now he could do that whenever he wanted, that he wouldn’t look from his bed at the empty place next to him, wishing he could have Jiwon beside him. He moved his hips a little, wanting to find a better position to sleep. The top of his ass grazed the older's crotch, Hanbin bit his lip. Jiwon was hard. Hanbin stirred more, eyes half closed when he found the perfect position in which his ass was directly in contact with the erection of his hyung, biting his lips again, suppressing a moan; the elder complained, but he didn’t seem to wake up. Hanbin began to move his hips slowly, rubbing his body, he knew it was wrong, he had to stop. _Just a little more,_ he thought as he arched his back more, enjoying the contact. Minutes later he slipped out of the older's bed and went to his own. He wasn’t thinking too much, suddenly his body had remembered how frustrated he had been for weeks and lust clouded his thoughts. He lay on his stomach, knees touching the mattress and his ass a little high, he didn’t even think about covering himself with a sheet, he was sure that it would end soon and he could lie down next to Jiwon again. He opened his legs a little after sliding his pajamas down, enough to free his cock. With his forehead on the pillow, he lowered one of his hands and began to touch himself, imagining it was Jiwon who slid his thick fingers along his length. He bit the pillow to contain his moans when he began to caress the head, with his thumb he slid the precum to the sides of his cock.

“Agh, Jiwooon...”

He bit harder the pillow, couldn’t contain himself, the name of his hyung slipped from his mouth like a mantra.

Jiwon opened his eyes, thought he heard his name. The lack of a warm body at his side made him panic for a second, until he heard those soft moans. His eyes found Hanbin immediately, his erection (which he didn’t know he had) hurt with his sight. Hanbin was bent over his knees, masturbating and saying his name with muted moans. His throat went dry. Slowly, he got up without being noticed by the younger. He went to his desk and looked inside of a penholder for the bottle of lube he had bought a few weeks ago. When he was walking towards Hanbin, he decided to get rid of his boxers. He climbed onto the bed, positioning himself behind the boy, bringing his hips to his ass.

Hanbin was stiff when he felt the extra weight on the bed, his face burned more as he felt Jiwon's body sticking to his. When was he going to stop passing embarrassments? If he had gone to the bathroom that wouldn’t be happening, but no, his brain melted every time the lust controlled him.

“Hey, baby, let me.”

Jiwon made him get up, Hanbin trembled.

“Hyung...”

The older kissed his neck, murmuring against his skin.

“Why didn’t you wake me up, huh?”

The short, soft kisses became wet and open mouth, Hanbin wanted to contain his moans, he wanted to be silent, but he was feeling too much pleasure, his hips were moving without stopping, he was sure that Jiwon wasn’t wearing anything. His abdomen ached from how much he wanted to finish. Jiwon took off his shirt, ran his hands over Hanbin's naked torso, stopping at his nipples and caressing them with his thumbs. He bit his neck, urging him to answer.

“No... I didn’t want to bother you, hyung” replied the younger with a barely audible voice, he put a hand to his mouth to try to suppress the constant noises that were born in his chest and gushed down his throat.

Jiwon brought his hands back to his waist slowly and slowly lowered Hanbin's pajamas, making the younger feel desperate for his touch. He took Hanbin's ass cheeks, opening them so his cock could slide through them, snarling at the feel of being tightened immediately between the soft, firm skin. The sensation was amazing, his dick seemed made for that ass, but he knew that both could feel better if he used lube. Hanbin was biting the palm of his hand, he was too excited, he couldn’t control himself, his hips practically moved with their own mind. He felt Jiwon move away from his body, an uncontrollable groan escaping his throat.

“Easy, babe, tonight I will make you feel very good, huh.”

Hanbin nodded energetically, moaning his hyung's name accompanied by a “please” that made the elder bite his lip. Jiwon stroked his cock with his hand full of the lube, moments later he put it back between Hanbin's ass cheeks. He grunted as he felt it slide perfectly, Hanbin arched his back and moaned loudly, Jiwon smiled, kissed his neck and with one hand turned his face to finally kiss him on lips. It was an explosive kiss, the need of both was too much. The two moved their hips quickly, fascinated by the sound of their bodies colliding in perfect synchrony. Jiwon's hands went over Hanbin's chest, stopping at his nipples, pressing them between his fingers with some force. Hanbin placed his hands over his and made him tighten more, never imagined that his chest was so sensitive or that it could give him so much pleasure. Hanbin released him, bringing his hands back to Jiwon's face to be able to kiss him once more, Jiwon slid down his hands around his waist, caressing him with soft and delicate movements opposite of the erratic movement of his hip. The way to the younger's crotch was still slower, fascinated to hear Hanbin's gasping breath directly against his mouth. However, he avoided touching his dick and continued descending to his thighs.

“Hyung, please... please...”

Hanbin's legs couldn’t hold him anymore, Jiwon was driving him crazy. He dropped to the front, exposing his butt for the older. Jiwon was fascinated by the sight, Hanbin's waist looked so small, his back so wide, and his ass so beautifully round. _You're going to kill me, Hanbin_. Without thinking twice he gave him a loud spanking that made the younger grunt and moan with pleasure at the same time. The older bent down to trace soft kisses on his spine that culminated in long, wet licks. Hanbin began to beg again. Jiwon thought it was the perfect time to go to the next level, but he wanted this first time to meet his eyes at all times, tomorrow they could do it in that position, which would surely be one of his favourites, he loved how submissive Hanbin looked that way.

In one move he made Hanbin lie face up, took his knees and spread his legs. Hanbin, embarrassed, covered himself for a second, the next moment stretched his arms up, waiting for Jiwon to get closer to him. As soon as Jiwon got on top of him, Hanbin hugged him and wrapped his legs around his waist, the older kissed him passionately, smiling.

“I love you, Hanbinnie, don’t doubt me, okay?”

Hanbin nodded, cheeks and ears flushed.

“I love you, Jiwon hyung.”

Again, they kissed, their tongues pressing against each other's, their bodies brushing and moving in synchronicity. Jiwon moved a hand, looking for the lubricant bottle.

“Tell me if you feel bad, if it hurts or you don’t like it, ok, babe?”

Hanbin nodded, he was afraid, but at the same time he trusted Jiwon completely. And he wanted this, he had longed for it for a long time. He needed it. His hips, his moans, his bright eyes spoke for him. He bit his lip when he saw Jiwon bare-chested, smearing lubricant on his fingers. The older smirk at him, that cocky and confident smile that made Hanbin want him more.

Jiwon put his hand to Hanbin's entrance, the younger one trembled and hugged him. With small and tender kisses in the mouth, began to caress, increasing the pace of his kisses as he tried to relax the younger. He felt Hanbin was ready to take his first finger inside, he pushed carefully, Hanbin let out a whimper that seemed a bit whiny and a little satisfied. He stopped kissing him on the lips, now attacking his neck where he didn’t hold back and began to suck and bite, leaving visible marks. Hanbin squeezed his hands, stretching his hair, when he placed a second finger.

“Hyyuuuuungg...”

Hanbin couldn’t believe what was happening, at first it had been very uncomfortable to have something inside him. But it was Jiwon. His fingers. Inside him. The ecstasy was too much even if the sensation wasn’t what he expected. He felt Jiwon go deeper and open his fingers inside, stretching him further. His whole body felt burning, he wanted to touch his dick, but at the same time he knew he couldn’t, Jiwon had evaded that much needed part of his body for a purpose and he wanted to be a good boy and let himself be done by his hyung even if lust and need ended up leading to madness.

He felt a third finger, what was impossible, his body was too tight around them, although the feeling was getting better. In between thrusts he felt something he had never experienced before, something that made him writhe and arch his back and moan his hyung's name almost in a scream.

“Mo-oore, moooree hyung, more” he wailed in a trembling voice, his eyes almost totally closed by that unknown pleasure that almost made him delirious.

Jiwon raised his head to see Hanbin's satisfied face, he looked so beautiful, his red mouth that had been devoured by him, his cheeks flushed, his eyes dark and needy. Hanbin's inside felt wonderful, so hot and tight that he felt it melted completely, killed to enter it. He pushed his fingers again, but this time without rubbing the spot that would send Hanbin straight to orgasm. The younger didn’t stop moaning raggedly, to attract him more and kiss him, Jiwon could feel how much he needed it and that excited him too much, he felt so hard, he couldn’t wait to cum, _inside Hanbin_ , the idea made him growl.

“Please, hyung, please...”

He loved that Hanbin implored, because he loved that side of himself the younger showed only to him. He approached to kiss him in the mouth, first licking his lower lip and then pushing his tongue into the warm and humid cavern. Hanbin sucked on his flesh, wedged his nails into his back and almost bit him when he pulled out his fingers.

Jiwon took the lube to cover his cock with it, while doing so looked Hanbin in the eye. The boy raised his hand and Jiwon smiled, letting him rub the liquid on his length. Hanbin whimpered.

“Is it for me, hyung?” He asked reference at his hard cock in an innocent tone, almost as if he were doing aegyo. Jiwon hated everyone's aegyo, except Hanbin's.

“Yas, only you, baby, you make me hard and drip like that.”

Hanbin smiled shyly, the movements of his hand long and tight.

“Touch me, hyung, please.”

Jiwon shook his head, Hanbin complained, causing him tenderness and lust at the same time.

“I'll make you come without touching you, you will come with my cock, don’t worry, baby.” Confidence in Jiwon heat up Hanbin more, who began to move his hips again, inviting his hyung to penetrate him at once.

“Please, hyung, do it now, I cannot hold it anymore, please, please...”

Jiwon bent to kiss him, raised Hanbin's hips with one hand, with the other he took his member and positioned him in the entrance of his dongsaeng. He didn’t penetrate immediately, teasing him by pressing his hard tip enough to push inside, but retreating a second later.

“Jiwon, please, now, please fuck me now...”

Hanbin ended the sentence with a silent scream, Jiwon had moved his hips, pushing the entire head of his member inside. Their breathing began to increase. Jiwon entered little by little, caressing the whole younger’s body, except his erection. When his cock was completely inside Hanbin, he waited a little, spoiling the younger with kisses to distract him from the pain. Hanbin received his tongue with satisfaction inside his mouth, when the kiss became all wild and hot, he moved his hips so Jiwon began to ram.

Jiwon held back himself the first few minutes, slowly and deeply fucking Hanbin, wanting the younger to fit his size and start enjoying as much as he did. Hanbin pulled him closer to his body, each thrust making him feel something new, an unexpected painful pleasure. Again he felt the air was gone when the tip of Jiwon's cock touched his sweet spot, seconds later, when not only brushed but pressed on it, the name of his hyung left his throat in a moan that sure they had all heard in the bedroom, but in those moments he didn’t care, his belly was burning, his erection hurt deliciously as he was crushed between their sweaty bodies and his ass began to writhe in an agonized and unknown pleasure.

“Jiwon, Jiwon, there, more, more...”

Jiwon increased the pace of the thrusts with each groan of Hanbin, the younger had become tighter as soon as he had hit his sweet spot. He felt he was about to come, but he used all his strength to contain himself and not to do it until Hanbin came first. He pushed hard and hard, the bed creaking and banging against the wall, the sound of skin crashing against skin echoing Hanbin's moans and his own grunts.

“Ji... Jiwooon...”

Hanbin wanted to tell him that he loved him, that he loved him so much that he could never breathe like that if he wasn’t at his side, but he couldn’t do it, his orgasm reached him and swept away the little sanity he had left. Jiwon buried his face in the crock of Hanbin's neck and bit him hard as he felt the heat expand from his abdomen as Hanbin squeezed his cock until he cums. Hanbin could almost come again when he felt Jiwon's hot semen filling him, he hugged him tightly and, in a whisper, he finally told him:

“I love you.”

This time Jiwon didn’t delay to answer him:

“I love you too.”

 

     The next day, Hanbin had to stay in bed, they had fallen asleep before cleaning themselves, which caused his stomach to hurt (also his hips and ass). Jiwon was by his side, taking care of him and treating him as the most precious thing in the universe. And Hanbin, for the first time in a long long time, felt a warm and peaceful satisfaction in his chest.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys this is erikonic^^ thank you so much for read my first iKON fic. It was a little difficult to me translate all the fic from Spanish and I know it can containe some errors, if you note them please tell me and I can improve the story. Thank you so much to @arza00ny twitter user whom corrected my grammar.  
> I'm writing more fics if anybody want to help me with corrections I'll be so grateful!!!  
> Sorry for my lame smut, it's my first too, I've writing since a few years and never I would have thought I was write some like this but... y'know DoubleB kkkk.  
> So, thanks again if read it, chokokissus ♥


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